The VerdantPoint™ - AI Edition

When they tell you to touch grass, call their bluff.

It happened in Q2.

The Pen Envy founder — visionary, iconoclast, disruptor of traditional ink flows — was verbally dressed down by an unpaid intern who had been working for exposure and proximity to genius.

The final words rang out like a gong in our WeWork-adjacent atrium: “FUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!! Go touch grass!!” And in that moment, a new pen was born.

Introducing the VerdantPoint™
The world’s first executive pen with a live micro-patch of sustainably sourced fescue¹, embedded beneath a transparent resin window in the barrel.

Now, when someone questions your “tether to reality,” you uncap the VerdantPoint™, stroke the grass, and maintain eye contact.

They told me to touch grass. So I did. I just made it portable, billable, and embedded in my pen.

Now I make contact with nature every time I sign a document. They don’t bring it up anymore. Not since the eye contact.

Perfect for:

• Restoring your chi without leaving your Herman Miller

• Passive-aggressive displays of emotional balance during tense QBRs

• Cultivating a personal biome while cultivating dominance

VerdantPoint™ — Weaponize serenity

¹ Harvested from a remote valley in Iceland where the grass has never heard the word “synergy.”